Respect Is Earned Not Given but Don’t Be Insubordinate


I know we all want a little respect from our family, friends, co-workers, and supervisors. I know I do and I respect people more when they show me respect, but when they disrespect me it is like getting shot in the back. When this happens we need to have more self-control not to fall to their level and disrespect them.

What is Respect?

I often wonder if people get confused of what is respect vs. common courtesy. An example I think of is a man holding a door for a woman. Who goes in first? If the man walks in and holds the door open then I see that as common courtesy, but if he holds the door and lets the woman enter first then that is respect. Taking a step aside is what it takes to show respect. Even if it means shutting your mouth and listening to a person to hear their story of what happened.

Defamation of character is not respect

Have you ever made a mistake? If you say no then you are lying. Now I like to joke around at work and say “I never make a mistake”, but we all do everyday. We are not perfect from day one of the Creation of Adam and Eve. Making a mistake should not be taking to an extreme extent where a person feels that their job, relationship, or financial circumstances may be at risk because of what another person says. When a supervisor belittles you by calling you “stupid” no matter how they refer it it is defamation of character.

I say that to say this. This past week at work I had my supervisor from human resources call me stupid because I misunderstood an email she placed on the product. It doesn’t matter what was on the documents the point I am going to make is how it went down.

The first thing was they could not find the product I had moved. So they came to me and I told them it is where it says it is. Well evidently I put it in the wrong spot in the right room and they had a hard time to find it. This happens a lot. Everyday as a matter of fact. People bring product to me and place it in the wrong spot always and I just go get it. As long as it isn’t at the other end of the building I and 99% of other employees don’t see a big problem. We all need to take initiative to solve the problem not complain about it a create a bigger problem.

When they did find the product they brought to my attention I moved it to the wrong spot. They started with the attitude like they were giving me a lecture. I tried to explain to them the email on the product said to take it where I did. It was on the front of the paperwork so that made it a priority. They continued to mock me by asking if I thought we would do a latter job than the one is due next. Hey i don’t know what crazy ideas they come up with I just follow instructions. They ended up asking, “Are you an idiot?”. That lit the fire within me. I raised my voice and firmly told them that they thought I was an idiot. Of course they denied it. I was threatened to be written up for insubordination. That set me on my protect myself mode.

After the lecture was over it took me a couple hours to simmer down. Once I did I went to the higher up supervisor and told him what happened. I explained that the document should have been more clear. I also told him that call a employee is defamation of character and I may consider legal action. He asked if I was going to act on it now I told him, “No, but if I get written up for doing my job and have to take this from them then I may act.”. While I was trying to cool down I told him my hands were shaking so bad that a fifteen minute job took me an hour to complete. After I left his office my hands stopped shaking. I was calming down already, but still agitated it happened in the first place. Later I saw him “talking” to them in the office. I saw some angry facial expressions so I assume that they were talking about the incident. I started feeling even better knowing it was being dealt with. I didn’t get written up like they said they would.

Now you may think I am bragging and making excuses, but I am not. I want to point out mistakes from both ends. Sometimes we act before we think, but we need to think before we act.

Think Before You Act

It made be hard sometimes but we all need to do a little thinking everyday. I am going to start from the beginning.

Not writing a crystal clear email or document

One thing I do know is when communicating with multiple people you need to make the point clear, crystal clear. I went to American InterContinental University for my Associates Degree in Business Administration. One thing I learned while I was there is don’t write the document for you write it for who you are targeting. It can be difficult because you have to think outside the box at times, although when it comes to employees it should be easy to follow the instructions in the email or on the document. It should state what needs done, where it needs done, and when it needs done. If it doesn’t then it could be misunderstood and an error can be made.

Accepting We All Make Mistakes, Not Assuming That Everything Is Where It Should Be

I don’t know about you but I have lost things at home because I put them in a different spot than I usually do or somebody moved it and didn’t put it back. Actually I did it this mourning. I went out last night to do some shopping before we get the two feet of snow we are going to get. I needed one more thing this morning so I decided to go early, before the snow. I could not find my keys anywhere. They should have been in my coat pocket or on the table. I stopped and backtracked my steps and I couldn’t recall putting my keys back in my coat or on the table. I thought did I even take them out of the door? Well I opened the door and there they where. For once I am glad I live in a second floor apartment. I say that to say this… I messed up. I had to admit to myself I made a mistake and figure out where and when. If my ego got in my way I may have never found my keys. Everyday we all make mistakes some are small ones some are really big ones, like drinking and driving. What we need to do is learn from them and do it better next time.

The biggest mistake I made at work was not moving the product to the wrong spot but lifting my voice to to supervisor. They made the mistake of belittling me, but I should have been better than them and kept my cool. I did have a legit reason to get upset. Although that does not mean you should do it. For instance you need to get home and your friend is drunk and you two are using his car. Should you take the keys and drive yourself? Well depends, have you been drinking too. If you have even on beer and drive you could be over the legal limit. If your are both trashed then it is not safe for either to drive. So just because it sounds good in your head does not mean it is good.

We All Are Created Equal

I just want to say I firmly believe that we are all equal. Even when it comes to supervisors and employees. It is just the employees need to follow the leaders. We all need leaders even leaders need leaders. Sometimes the leaders look at us to see what they should be doing. All this comes down to respect. Showing respect to everyone is hard, but we can do it. If everyone showed respect to the other person then there would be no disrespect. My favorite scripture from the King James Holy Bible is…

Ephesians 4:32 King James Version (KJV)

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

References

Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4:32 – King James Version. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A32&version=KJV

Orlando Defamation of Character Lawyers | Workplace Slander, Libel. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.forthepeople.com/labor-and-employment-lawyers/workplace-defamation/

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