Category Archives: getting through everyday life

It is Hard to Trust Again When You Have Been Blind Your Whole Life

I want to tell you about trust. I was watching a sermon this morning and it had to deal with trust between man and God. I do not want to go into everything the sermon talked about, but the main part of the sermon that got my attention was we have to trust God because He knows what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. We all have financial issues but we have to trust God to get us through it. The pastor also talked about forgiving and trusting those who have betrayed you in the past again. I know that is hard because I have the problem of trust with my mother and step-father. I thought they raised me good when I was in my teens and early 20s. Today looking back there is many mistakes they made. I know we cannot fix the past, but I hope sharing this helps you with the future.

The Big Mistake

I am going to start out with the biggest mistake in my opinion. My parents were divorced when I was 7 years old. I saw my father for maybe a year or two after the divorce and then it  stopped. My sister had anger towards him for a reason I do not know. I told my mother a few times in my teen years that I would run away to my dad’s. I never did, I did not know where he was. Back in those days we did not have smartphones with Google Maps. I felt lost as a child and neglected.

FFiII

When I hit the teen years I got into playing video games and I left public school, due to the harassment I received, and went to Christian School. I started enjoying some of the things I had. I love playing Final Fantasy III  and going skiing. I liked riding my bike down to a creek near the house. I miss childhood cause the less responsibilities, I am sure everyone feels the same. I also learned that helping others brings joy to your heart. I always went outside and mowed the lawn, raked leaves, and even shoveled snow without complaining.  My step-father liked that I would help out. Then he started to change.

When I was in high school and on the basketball team I didn’t always have time to do all the chores when he, my step-father, wanted them done. He would do them before I got home. I would go straight to doing the chores and my mom would tell me they were done. At first I was happy he was helping, but then he started saying things that were offensive as a joke. He would say, “Well you are to lazy to get them done.” or “Since you are always late I have to do it.”. Now the second was true to a point of view. Although if you have a scheduled practice at 4pm and done at 5pm and then get home by 5:30pm then you are not late, you’re late if you get home after that time like at 9pm.

After all this he started to get more ignorant and I started to like him less. I started think of my birth father. I wanted to see if he loved me. One day he took the step and called. I had just lost a job and had plenty of time. I was so happy and he came and picked me up since I didn’t have money. When I got the unemployment I started going. I was living with my mom and step-father at the time. I was wondering if there were going to be any conflicts. I kinda stopped seeing my dad when I got a job that was 12 hour shifts on nights. I also was going to college online and wanted to start a business. The only thing I thought about for those four years was work, college, and business. I worked paying bills into where I could. When college and work were on holiday shutdown I focused on business. Never had a minute in my day. It brought a lot of stress and my stubborness out. I told myself I should give up the business, but I did not until I got fired. Sometimes God tells us what to do and other times He makes it happen. The six months I was unemployed I should have called my father and got our relationship going again, but I was afraid that my mom and step-father would get angry. I did not need that at that time. It has been at least 8 years since I have seen my dad, it has not been 17 years like before I need to fix this before it happens again and it is my fault.

Having Someone to Talk to with Confidence

I believe we all have a family person or friend that we can tell anything to. What if the person you talk to tells another? It then becomes gossip. The first thing we should do is tell them we trust them and not to tell anyone else. It is a responsibility and they may not want it. I use to have that but then what I said was told to another person.

I know it is not easy to hear a person’s problems but we need to get our burdens off our chest to reduce stress. If not then there could be heart attacks, anger, criminal acts, or betrayal. I know when people identify common problems with me it makes me feel better because I am not the only one like this. I have had people talk to me about hard times in life. I listen and identify with them. Sometimes I can even give them some good advice or a suggestion how to deal with it from experience. We need not to be selfish we need to be selfless.

Doing Things You Don’t Like Because You Love Your Family and Friends

 

We all like some similar things and some entirely different things especially in mixed families. My step-father like bowling and so did I so sometimes we would go bowling together. One thing I really like was playing video games. My step-dad was way before the era of video games he is from the time TV first came out. I wanted him to play Mario Brothers with me when I first got it and he said he couldn’t do it. I wanted to teach him but he wouldn’t even try. It hurt that he wouldn’t be able to share an interest with me. When I was playing basketball I wanted him to come out and help me make shots. All I wanted was for him is to get rebounds at the net and to watch me and give me tips because he played in his childhood, never happened. I also liked watching Mighty Morphin Power Rangers when I got home from school. He got home about 15 minutes after the show started and took the remote. I started hiding the remote and not doing the chores so he would take it out. All I needed was 15 more minutes and he didn’t want to give me that so I had to be disobedient. Today we can record anything at anytime and watch it in another room and watch another channel as it is recording. Even though with technology being so much more advanced than 20 years ago I would still let my child watch a show as long as they were doing good in school, not being disobedient, and follow the schedule I set. I would always compromise if there was a show, a sports event, or maybe a friend calling from overseas. If you do something the same way all the time then you think you are always right. Sometimes we need to adjust what we do to make it better or to acknowledge we need a little change to beat repetition.

I didn’t always like taking care of the fire or bringing in wood during the winter. I got tired of it by early Spring but we still need to build one in the mourning and sometimes in the evening. I would take care of it not because it was my responsibility, but because I loved my parents. When I felt rejected from the family is when I stopped doing things like taking care of the fire and bring in wood. One thing I wanted to do for my step-father was get a cheap heat source installed and either help pay for it or pay it in full. Neither one would even look at the sources of heat that would be available to them. I eventually gave up. They want to build fires until they die then they can do it themselves is what I started to feel. I learned we just need to accept what others want. I guess the fire is good for him cause it does give him exercise. I just hope if they ever needed anything like new source of heat they would ask me.

We All Need Acceptance

 

It doesn’t matter who you are or what family you are in we all need acceptance in our life. The hard part is accepting parts of our life we do not want to happen, like the lost of a loved one.  I believe accepting the bad times like accepting the good times is the hardest challenge in life.

 

Check out more

Sometimes Family Cannot Live Together Because They Will Never Agree

4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids

What Should Not Be Said or Done When Parents and Adult Children Live Together

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

 

 

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Mister Rogers Was The Inspiration Of Life

Days were a lot cheaper back in the 60’s and 70’s. There were still problems with money and the the government cutting funding. Mister Rogers, who I watched when I was a kid, was threatened of being cut. He gave our government an inspirational speech in six minutes to keep his show on the air. Today we do not have a show like Mister Rogers who teaches us when we haven’t even gone to kindergarten yet not to get angry, but control it. One act of kindness can go a long way. I learned that from Mister Rogers when I was little.

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4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

Let’s Make Life Beautiful

Life Can Be Complicated, But it Doesn’t Have to Be

The Revised Serenity Prayer

The Revised Serenity Prayer
I should say this everyday. Should you?

We all have problems in our life. This is why friendship, true friendship, is the most important relationship we have in my opinion. If your true friend is of the opposite sex and you are worried about becoming intimate because it may make it too complicated then you are giving up on a lot of what we all want. I have become very close to some women in my past and did not want to make it complicated. Now we have moved on in life and we do not see each other anymore. I regret and wish I had taken that extra step to our friendship. The divorce rate is so high these days. I would be grateful to God if He would give me a woman that had a 80% chance of staying with me than an 80% chance of leaving me.

Galatians 5:22 – 5:23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Sources:

GALATIANS 5:22 – 5:23
In-text: (Kingjamesbibleonline.org, 2018)
Your Bibliography: Kingjamesbibleonline.org. (2018). Galatians 5:22 – 5:23. [online] Available at: https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Galatians-5-22_5-23/ [Accessed 14 Jan. 2018].

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God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

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God Acts On Our Behalf by Dr. Charles Stanley

I was watching Dr. Charles Stanley this mourning. I decided not to go to church today cause I have a lot to do. While listening I was well into his sermon because I have had shortcomings in my life. How do you know it is God’s will now or later? When do you wait and when do you go for it? I wish I could understand God. He can be complicated.


Online home of In Touch Ministries and the ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

Source: God Acts On Our Behalf

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4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids

I have had issues in my childhood and growing up into adulthood with my step-father. I read this article and I fully agree. I wanted to share it because I did not have a great childhood.

The main issue I had according to my source is I did not have enough play time, interactions, with my step-father. I agree with this because when I reached my teen years getting into sports he did not want to do anything with me. He set what he wanted to do higher than being a father to a “son”. Today I try to avoid him and not talk to him.

I am telling you this because there are so many divorces today. Children have step-parents, step-siblings, and half-siblings. When the children are growing up and when they become adults you, the parents, need to make them feel like part of they family. If they want to get involved in a social activity like football, boy scouts, girl scouts, band, or anything else that would help them in life, support them. Always listen to your children no matter what. When they are trying to tell you about their problems for the day or just something that is bothering them, listen. If you don’t then you are dwindling their respect, trust, and honor for you. They will always love you, but when they grow up into adulthood and have a big problem sometimes going to talk to mom is the best choice. If mom or dad loses trust then they will not go to the parents. If the parents lose respect no matter what the parents advise them they are more than likely to do the opposite. I was always taught as a child to respect my parents, but growing into adulthood I learned respect is earned. I also learned respect can be lost. I do agree one must always respect the ones higher than them, like parents or a boss, but that can be loss and then it is just tolerating the person. One of my favorite verses in the Holy Bible I am going share in closing. The last thing I want to say is always respect each other and show kindness to everyone. Maybe one day everyone will be happy.

For God So Loved The World- John 3:16

Source: 4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids – Proverbial Homemaker

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God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”