Category Archives: Make Peace

It is Hard to Trust Again When You Have Been Blind Your Whole Life

I want to tell you about trust. I was watching a sermon this morning and it had to deal with trust between man and God. I do not want to go into everything the sermon talked about, but the main part of the sermon that got my attention was we have to trust God because He knows what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. We all have financial issues but we have to trust God to get us through it. The pastor also talked about forgiving and trusting those who have betrayed you in the past again. I know that is hard because I have the problem of trust with my mother and step-father. I thought they raised me good when I was in my teens and early 20s. Today looking back there is many mistakes they made. I know we cannot fix the past, but I hope sharing this helps you with the future.

The Big Mistake

I am going to start out with the biggest mistake in my opinion. My parents were divorced when I was 7 years old. I saw my father for maybe a year or two after the divorce and then it  stopped. My sister had anger towards him for a reason I do not know. I told my mother a few times in my teen years that I would run away to my dad’s. I never did, I did not know where he was. Back in those days we did not have smartphones with Google Maps. I felt lost as a child and neglected.

FFiII

When I hit the teen years I got into playing video games and I left public school, due to the harassment I received, and went to Christian School. I started enjoying some of the things I had. I love playing Final Fantasy III  and going skiing. I liked riding my bike down to a creek near the house. I miss childhood cause the less responsibilities, I am sure everyone feels the same. I also learned that helping others brings joy to your heart. I always went outside and mowed the lawn, raked leaves, and even shoveled snow without complaining.  My step-father liked that I would help out. Then he started to change.

When I was in high school and on the basketball team I didn’t always have time to do all the chores when he, my step-father, wanted them done. He would do them before I got home. I would go straight to doing the chores and my mom would tell me they were done. At first I was happy he was helping, but then he started saying things that were offensive as a joke. He would say, “Well you are to lazy to get them done.” or “Since you are always late I have to do it.”. Now the second was true to a point of view. Although if you have a scheduled practice at 4pm and done at 5pm and then get home by 5:30pm then you are not late, you’re late if you get home after that time like at 9pm.

After all this he started to get more ignorant and I started to like him less. I started think of my birth father. I wanted to see if he loved me. One day he took the step and called. I had just lost a job and had plenty of time. I was so happy and he came and picked me up since I didn’t have money. When I got the unemployment I started going. I was living with my mom and step-father at the time. I was wondering if there were going to be any conflicts. I kinda stopped seeing my dad when I got a job that was 12 hour shifts on nights. I also was going to college online and wanted to start a business. The only thing I thought about for those four years was work, college, and business. I worked paying bills into where I could. When college and work were on holiday shutdown I focused on business. Never had a minute in my day. It brought a lot of stress and my stubborness out. I told myself I should give up the business, but I did not until I got fired. Sometimes God tells us what to do and other times He makes it happen. The six months I was unemployed I should have called my father and got our relationship going again, but I was afraid that my mom and step-father would get angry. I did not need that at that time. It has been at least 8 years since I have seen my dad, it has not been 17 years like before I need to fix this before it happens again and it is my fault.

Having Someone to Talk to with Confidence

I believe we all have a family person or friend that we can tell anything to. What if the person you talk to tells another? It then becomes gossip. The first thing we should do is tell them we trust them and not to tell anyone else. It is a responsibility and they may not want it. I use to have that but then what I said was told to another person.

I know it is not easy to hear a person’s problems but we need to get our burdens off our chest to reduce stress. If not then there could be heart attacks, anger, criminal acts, or betrayal. I know when people identify common problems with me it makes me feel better because I am not the only one like this. I have had people talk to me about hard times in life. I listen and identify with them. Sometimes I can even give them some good advice or a suggestion how to deal with it from experience. We need not to be selfish we need to be selfless.

Doing Things You Don’t Like Because You Love Your Family and Friends

 

We all like some similar things and some entirely different things especially in mixed families. My step-father like bowling and so did I so sometimes we would go bowling together. One thing I really like was playing video games. My step-dad was way before the era of video games he is from the time TV first came out. I wanted him to play Mario Brothers with me when I first got it and he said he couldn’t do it. I wanted to teach him but he wouldn’t even try. It hurt that he wouldn’t be able to share an interest with me. When I was playing basketball I wanted him to come out and help me make shots. All I wanted was for him is to get rebounds at the net and to watch me and give me tips because he played in his childhood, never happened. I also liked watching Mighty Morphin Power Rangers when I got home from school. He got home about 15 minutes after the show started and took the remote. I started hiding the remote and not doing the chores so he would take it out. All I needed was 15 more minutes and he didn’t want to give me that so I had to be disobedient. Today we can record anything at anytime and watch it in another room and watch another channel as it is recording. Even though with technology being so much more advanced than 20 years ago I would still let my child watch a show as long as they were doing good in school, not being disobedient, and follow the schedule I set. I would always compromise if there was a show, a sports event, or maybe a friend calling from overseas. If you do something the same way all the time then you think you are always right. Sometimes we need to adjust what we do to make it better or to acknowledge we need a little change to beat repetition.

I didn’t always like taking care of the fire or bringing in wood during the winter. I got tired of it by early Spring but we still need to build one in the mourning and sometimes in the evening. I would take care of it not because it was my responsibility, but because I loved my parents. When I felt rejected from the family is when I stopped doing things like taking care of the fire and bring in wood. One thing I wanted to do for my step-father was get a cheap heat source installed and either help pay for it or pay it in full. Neither one would even look at the sources of heat that would be available to them. I eventually gave up. They want to build fires until they die then they can do it themselves is what I started to feel. I learned we just need to accept what others want. I guess the fire is good for him cause it does give him exercise. I just hope if they ever needed anything like new source of heat they would ask me.

We All Need Acceptance

 

It doesn’t matter who you are or what family you are in we all need acceptance in our life. The hard part is accepting parts of our life we do not want to happen, like the lost of a loved one.  I believe accepting the bad times like accepting the good times is the hardest challenge in life.

 

Check out more

Sometimes Family Cannot Live Together Because They Will Never Agree

4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids

What Should Not Be Said or Done When Parents and Adult Children Live Together

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

 

 

Advertisements

The Revised Serenity Prayer

The Revised Serenity Prayer
I should say this everyday. Should you?

We all have problems in our life. This is why friendship, true friendship, is the most important relationship we have in my opinion. If your true friend is of the opposite sex and you are worried about becoming intimate because it may make it too complicated then you are giving up on a lot of what we all want. I have become very close to some women in my past and did not want to make it complicated. Now we have moved on in life and we do not see each other anymore. I regret and wish I had taken that extra step to our friendship. The divorce rate is so high these days. I would be grateful to God if He would give me a woman that had a 80% chance of staying with me than an 80% chance of leaving me.

Galatians 5:22 – 5:23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Sources:

GALATIANS 5:22 – 5:23
In-text: (Kingjamesbibleonline.org, 2018)
Your Bibliography: Kingjamesbibleonline.org. (2018). Galatians 5:22 – 5:23. [online] Available at: https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Galatians-5-22_5-23/ [Accessed 14 Jan. 2018].

Check out more

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going

The Real Meaning of Easter Part 1

Rocky: An Inspiring Man

God Acts On Our Behalf by Dr. Charles Stanley

I was watching Dr. Charles Stanley this mourning. I decided not to go to church today cause I have a lot to do. While listening I was well into his sermon because I have had shortcomings in my life. How do you know it is God’s will now or later? When do you wait and when do you go for it? I wish I could understand God. He can be complicated.


Online home of In Touch Ministries and the ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

Source: God Acts On Our Behalf

Check out more

Where Do We Go After Death According To The Bible

The Purpose God Has In Your Life

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

Set Your Priorities Straight In Life: Live Your Life And Love It

4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids

I have had issues in my childhood and growing up into adulthood with my step-father. I read this article and I fully agree. I wanted to share it because I did not have a great childhood.

The main issue I had according to my source is I did not have enough play time, interactions, with my step-father. I agree with this because when I reached my teen years getting into sports he did not want to do anything with me. He set what he wanted to do higher than being a father to a “son”. Today I try to avoid him and not talk to him.

I am telling you this because there are so many divorces today. Children have step-parents, step-siblings, and half-siblings. When the children are growing up and when they become adults you, the parents, need to make them feel like part of they family. If they want to get involved in a social activity like football, boy scouts, girl scouts, band, or anything else that would help them in life, support them. Always listen to your children no matter what. When they are trying to tell you about their problems for the day or just something that is bothering them, listen. If you don’t then you are dwindling their respect, trust, and honor for you. They will always love you, but when they grow up into adulthood and have a big problem sometimes going to talk to mom is the best choice. If mom or dad loses trust then they will not go to the parents. If the parents lose respect no matter what the parents advise them they are more than likely to do the opposite. I was always taught as a child to respect my parents, but growing into adulthood I learned respect is earned. I also learned respect can be lost. I do agree one must always respect the ones higher than them, like parents or a boss, but that can be loss and then it is just tolerating the person. One of my favorite verses in the Holy Bible I am going share in closing. The last thing I want to say is always respect each other and show kindness to everyone. Maybe one day everyone will be happy.

For God So Loved The World- John 3:16

Source: 4 Ways that Dads are Essential in the Lives of our Kids – Proverbial Homemaker

Check out more

Woman Keeps Her Dog Locked In The Car, Police Officer Teaches Her A Lesson

Sometimes Family Cannot Live Together Because They Will Never Agree

Why Should the United States Ban Other Countries?

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

Sometimes Family Cannot Live Together Because They Will Never Agree

We all have family members that are the nice ones, the grumpy ones, the neat ones, and the little obsessive ones; but what if you are a positive one with the negative ones. This can cause problems through out life if no common ground is found. There is a time to agree and a time to disagree.

Showing Favoritism Among the Kids

Believe it or not, all parents have a favorite child. It happened in my family and I was not the favorite. It is like liking Pepsi over Coke or Coke over Pepsi. They are both colas, taste similar, but one is better than the other to everyone.

Dragon QuestIt is understanding that parents can favor on child over another, especially mothers favoring daughters and fathers favoring sons, although giving privileges to one and none to another makes them feel rejected. Sometimes you cannot treat your children exactly the same. These days there are a lot of children born with limitations or handicaps. Everyone has different interest as they grow up too. I know I liked playing outside when I was very young, but when I got to my teens I loved video games. The Nintendo came out and it made my mind work. I love Role Playing Games (RPG). My favorite from the NES was Dragon Warrior Series. My mother would always yell at me about always being on my Nintendo, which I was not, and not going outside. When I did go outside and play with my sister and her friend, which today is her husband, he would always end up being a jerk and have to be the dominating man. Today I realize I did not like that because I saw myself as the man of the house and he should be submissive to me. Even back then I developed in my mind if you cannot win just walk away.

Whenever there was chores to do I always got them. Chores like taking out the garbage, bringing in wood, mowing the lawn, and even cooking dinner I always did them and never got any benefits from it. My sister on the other hand did not have any chores she had responsibilities. She had like a dozen pets cats, dog, birds, fish, hermit crabs, lizards, rabbits and more. Whenever I complained that my sister did not have any chores that I did “everything” my mother always said, “Yes she does!”. I told her, “They are not chores they are responsibilities. If you think they are both the same I am going to give you the definitions.

Chore–   a small or odd job; routine task, the everyday work around a house or farm

Responsible involving accountability or responsibilityas in having the power to  control or manage:, reliable or dependable, as in meeting debts, conducting businessdealings, etc.

Now according to the definitions chores are not as significant as responsibility. Not that is insignificant to do your chores everyday they teach you discipline and commitment to get things done, but a responsibility, like having pets, is similar to having kids. You come home from work tired and worn out there are two things you need to do, wash the dishes and feed the kids, which on would you do? If you said feed the kids that is being responsible. Doing the dishes is an everyday chore that we all have. It can be put off till the next day if needed. Although a responsibility cannot be put off. Just like for kids and doing their homework. They need to learn when they are young what is more important, running the trash out for dad or study for that History test. It took me until high school to realize that education was far more important than chores. I have my Principal and Pastor from high school to thank for that. When I graduated and went to college I had to cram for prioritizing in life. It was hard with college, work, and home. I did not graduate from college back then. I went back to college in 2010 and graduated in 2012 from AIU. I wish I learned how to prioritize when I was a child.

Try to Treat Your Children Equal

Although there will be favoritism, parents can favor both children in different ways. Some kids need personal time and other kids like a lot of attention. There are also kids who want to go out with there friends after school. Parents could allow them to do this as long as after dinner they got on their homework and got it done. This is a compromise. If the child does not comply then it is their fault and have to learn they need to accept responsibility for their choices and actions. If they will not get their homework done then they need to get on it after school or maybe be able to go play for an hour. If the kid wants to cry about it they need to be explained to why their privilege is being limited or taken away. Even if they do not fully conceive it it may sink in eventually. If you do not work with them then they may go against you. They will learn to deceive you and get away with what they want to. I know this because I did it as a child. I got grounded and told not to play my video games. I figured out a way to put everything back the way it was and when my parents came home. Also my game systems were where the wood burner was so if they got home before I got off I always used the excuse I was taken care of the fire. They never found out to this day. I have gotten away with a lot as a child and got busted on a lot too. I just believe with everything there is a compromise. It is up to you as the parent to develop that. Always talk, listen, give-up, and give on both sides. I can go on and on. If you want any advice or have a question just comment below. I hope more families are getting along in harmony than families who cannot agree what to watch on TV.

The most important thing in the world is family and love.

-John Wooden

BrainyQuote  

Check out more

Watch “Poison – “Nothin’ But A Good Time” (HQ Sound)” on YouTube

Dale Earnhardt Jr. takes big step towards one last Daytona win, leads final practice — NASCAR Talk

Parents Children Need To Learn From The Lesson Of Life

The Eagles: Hotel California

References

Dictionary.com. (2017). the definition of chore. [online] Available at: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/chore?s=t [Accessed 19 Aug. 2017].

Dictionary.com. (2017). the definition of responsible. [online] Available at: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/responsible [Accessed 19 Aug. 2017].