I know we all want a little respect from our family, friends, co-workers, and supervisors. I know I do and I respect people more when they show me respect, but when they disrespect me it is like getting shot in the back. When this happens we need to have more self-control not to fall to their level and disrespect them.
What is Respect?
I often wonder if people get confused of what is respect vs. common courtesy. An example I think of is a man holding a door for a woman. Who goes in first? If the man walks in and holds the door open then I see that as common courtesy, but if he holds the door and lets the woman enter first then that is respect. Taking a step aside is what it takes to show respect. Even if it means shutting your mouth and listening to a person to hear their story of what happened.
Defamation of character is not respect
Have you ever made a mistake? If you say no then you are lying. Now I like to joke around at work and say “I never make a mistake”, but we all do everyday. We are not perfect from day one of the Creation of Adam and Eve. Making a mistake should not be taking to an extreme extent where a person feels that their job, relationship, or financial circumstances may be at risk because of what another person says. When a supervisor belittles you by calling you “stupid” no matter how they refer it it is defamation of character.
I say that to say this. This past week at work I had my supervisor from human resources call me stupid because I misunderstood an email she placed on the product. It doesn’t matter what was on the documents the point I am going to make is how it went down.
The first thing was they could not find the product I had moved. So they came to me and I told them it is where it says it is. Well evidently I put it in the wrong spot in the right room and they had a hard time to find it. This happens a lot. Everyday as a matter of fact. People bring product to me and place it in the wrong spot always and I just go get it. As long as it isn’t at the other end of the building I and 99% of other employees don’t see a big problem. We all need to take initiative to solve the problem not complain about it a create a bigger problem.
When they did find the product they brought to my attention I moved it to the wrong spot. They started with the attitude like they were giving me a lecture. I tried to explain to them the email on the product said to take it where I did. It was on the front of the paperwork so that made it a priority. They continued to mock me by asking if I thought we would do a latter job than the one is due next. Hey i don’t know what crazy ideas they come up with I just follow instructions. They ended up asking, “Are you an idiot?”. That lit the fire within me. I raised my voice and firmly told them that they thought I was an idiot. Of course they denied it. I was threatened to be written up for insubordination. That set me on my protect myself mode.
After the lecture was over it took me a couple hours to simmer down. Once I did I went to the higher up supervisor and told him what happened. I explained that the document should have been more clear. I also told him that call a employee is defamation of character and I may consider legal action. He asked if I was going to act on it now I told him, “No, but if I get written up for doing my job and have to take this from them then I may act.”. While I was trying to cool down I told him my hands were shaking so bad that a fifteen minute job took me an hour to complete. After I left his office my hands stopped shaking. I was calming down already, but still agitated it happened in the first place. Later I saw him “talking” to them in the office. I saw some angry facial expressions so I assume that they were talking about the incident. I started feeling even better knowing it was being dealt with. I didn’t get written up like they said they would.
Now you may think I am bragging and making excuses, but I am not. I want to point out mistakes from both ends. Sometimes we act before we think, but we need to think before we act.
Think Before You Act
It made be hard sometimes but we all need to do a little thinking everyday. I am going to start from the beginning.
Not writing a crystal clear email or document
One thing I do know is when communicating with multiple people you need to make the point clear, crystal clear. I went to American InterContinental University for my Associates Degree in Business Administration. One thing I learned while I was there is don’t write the document for you write it for who you are targeting. It can be difficult because you have to think outside the box at times, although when it comes to employees it should be easy to follow the instructions in the email or on the document. It should state what needs done, where it needs done, and when it needs done. If it doesn’t then it could be misunderstood and an error can be made.
Accepting We All Make Mistakes, Not Assuming That Everything Is Where It Should Be
I don’t know about you but I have lost things at home because I put them in a different spot than I usually do or somebody moved it and didn’t put it back. Actually I did it this mourning. I went out last night to do some shopping before we get the two feet of snow we are going to get. I needed one more thing this morning so I decided to go early, before the snow. I could not find my keys anywhere. They should have been in my coat pocket or on the table. I stopped and backtracked my steps and I couldn’t recall putting my keys back in my coat or on the table. I thought did I even take them out of the door? Well I opened the door and there they where. For once I am glad I live in a second floor apartment. I say that to say this… I messed up. I had to admit to myself I made a mistake and figure out where and when. If my ego got in my way I may have never found my keys. Everyday we all make mistakes some are small ones some are really big ones, like drinking and driving. What we need to do is learn from them and do it better next time.
The biggest mistake I made at work was not moving the product to the wrong spot but lifting my voice to to supervisor. They made the mistake of belittling me, but I should have been better than them and kept my cool. I did have a legit reason to get upset. Although that does not mean you should do it. For instance you need to get home and your friend is drunk and you two are using his car. Should you take the keys and drive yourself? Well depends, have you been drinking too. If you have even on beer and drive you could be over the legal limit. If your are both trashed then it is not safe for either to drive. So just because it sounds good in your head does not mean it is good.
We All Are Created Equal
I just want to say I firmly believe that we are all equal. Even when it comes to supervisors and employees. It is just the employees need to follow the leaders. We all need leaders even leaders need leaders. Sometimes the leaders look at us to see what they should be doing. All this comes down to respect. Showing respect to everyone is hard, but we can do it. If everyone showed respect to the other person then there would be no disrespect. My favorite scripture from the King James Holy Bible is…
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4:32 – King James Version. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A32&version=KJV
Orlando Defamation of Character Lawyers | Workplace Slander, Libel. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.forthepeople.com/labor-and-employment-lawyers/workplace-defamation/
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My life was not simple. Childhood was difficult, teen years were hard, and going into adulthood seemed to be a killer. It was hard growing up and accepting my life. Getting over the past is hard, when you do it can come back to haunt you.
Childhood was not easy
Growing up is difficult in my opinion, although I would give anything to be a kid again. My parents got divorced when I was seven. I saw my dad for a few years after then it stopped. I didn’t see him again until I was 26. I was unemployed at the time and it was like God sent him to me.
My step-father has never been close to me. The main issue is he is from a different generation than my mother, thirteen years older than her. I tried to get close to him but it has seemed that he never did it to me. He thinks that buying me things like my first car shows love, I do not. I think time and sacrifice shows love. It can be throwing a baseball or giving up the TV remote it does not matter a small act of kindness will last longer than an object like a car. I cannot remember when he showed me an act of kindness without hesitation or frustration. That has hurt me for over thirty years and I am done with it. I have cut him off entirely.
My mother on the other hand has been good to me, a little over concerned, but good. I have had epilepsy since I was 10 months old. My mom has been a little overprotective not letting getting into sports, taking me out to hang with friends, or believing what I said. The meds I have been on over the years have made me drowsy, zombified, anti-social. This has made kids think I was weird. I was different am still am today. Although being more social and accepting people for whom they are helped me get to who I am. I did get into basketball and soccer in high school. The way I did it was not tell her about it until I was on the team. Played the guilt trip card. It made her feel more guilty to make me quit the team than to let me make the choice to take a chance.
Growing up is not easy
Did you ever think life was a little confusing? Well I did. When I was in my late teens into my 20s my spirit started coming out. I went to a baptist school and a pentecostal church. At school I learned the basics in Christianity: love one another, kindness, salvation, heaven and hell. When I went to church I learned more about praise and worship and women in the ministry. They had me believing in it firmly all because of a couple of scriptures. The pastors at this church were a couple 60s gurus that smoked joints and wanted peace. They established this church to spread what they believed. Their beliefs in dancing in church, speaking in tongues, and women as pastor brought up some conflicts in my soul. I prayed for almost a year for it and did some research. I stopped going and started watching the sermons on TV, eventually I returned to church at the school I graduated from. I felt like I was suppose to be there.
The first time leaving home can be hard. I went to college after I graduated high school. I did not graduate because I moved out of town and lived my life. I didn’t stay focused on college. Hindsight tells me I should of waited a semester and enjoyed my “free time” after high school. But cannot fix the past. I did learn a lot of what to do and what not to do, I think more of the latter. Eventually I got stressed and afraid of the next rent and wanted to go home. I called my mom and moved back home I also got transferred from the job I had to a local one in my hometown. Spending time with family was good I even went back to college and got my degree in Business Administration with a focus on Management. Things did get more difficult though.
When I was done with college I tried starting a business in advertising. At this time I was working on night shifts for twelve hours. I did some of the business while I was on break at work, just like I did my college discussions. I kept doing more research on advertising, targeting, and getting likes but I was not doing great. It seemed to be getting better, more affective. Then I lost my job and became severely depressed. I thought about suicide, I was angry at myself, I was hurt because I could not get someone to say, “It will be ok. I have your back.”. I felt alone and cast out from everyone. It took about a month for me to start casually looking for a job, but when my lawyer won me my unemployment I saw a ray of hope. I actually started looking online, selling things I did not need anymore, and going to temp to hire agencies. I got a job and today am still there. It isn’t my favorite job but I do like it. I wish I could go back to food service and get paid enough to live my life, but that road is gone. Now I am learning new things, living on my own, and I feel like I am at home.
I moved on a few years latter and went back into food service. I wanted to be a manager and got hired as crew to be promoted to manager. I was trained in everything and learned some manager task along the way. I was promoted about two years after I was hired. This gave me the passion to go back to college to learn more even start my own business. I lost my position due to my general manager’s scheduling. I was trained to close and work swing shifts. I was scheduled to open on a weekday and had inventory to do. I was not trained how to handle the shift and almost got to the bank late and ended up short a worker. Once I was demoted I saw my goals had changed. I found a better job. I was working twelve hour shifts three to four days a week. I was making about three times as much but had little time.
I like where I am at now but I hope to find someplace a little better. I would like to own my own house, have a dog, and grill out with friends. I want a job that I do not have to worry about getting mandated for overtime when I have things I want to do or need to do. Tell you the truth I wish I could hit the lottery so I would not have to worry about work again, but the truth is I would still get a job or volunteer somewhere. I enjoy working I just do not enjoy the idiots in charge. One day maybe a dream or two will come true in my life and maybe even in your life. Who knows maybe life is just a dream.
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(MADISON, Wis.) — Outgoing House Speaker Paul Ryan on Thursday named immigration and the national debt as his two biggest regrets as he prepares to leave office after 20 years in Congress, saying he has no immediate plans to return to public office. The Republican lawmaker from Wisconsin, the 2012 vice presidential nominee, sat for…
I will miss him as Speaker of the House. He does a good job and is a great leader. I hope he enjoys life’
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NANTICOKE, Pa. — Greater Nanticoke Area school administrators made changes after a 12-year-old student athlete suffered a frightening seizure. The seizure happened on a school bus after a softball game. A Newswatch 16 investigation last month found the girl suffered a grand mal seizure. She also had a concussion and was left unattended for more than six minutes.
This should have never happened! The issue isn’t the substitute coach’s knowledge of seizures it is he sat after seeing it happening the first time. I have had seizures since I was 10 months old. I had one on the school bus on the way home one day when I was in high school. The students on the bus noticed me and told the bus driver. She pulled over and called for an ambulance. I was not friends with these students, but they did the right thing. He should have told the bus driver to pull over and call 911. He should be charged with negligence. When a child is supervised by their coach they are responsible for their safety and he did not fulfill his responsibilities. I don’t think this should fall on the school district, but they should also fire him. Sorry but I take this very personnel.
Bohman, D. (2018). Newswatch 16 Investigates: What Happened on Bus 24?. [online] Wnep.com. Available at: https://wnep.com/2018/10/11/newswatch-16-investigates-what-happened-on-bus-24/ [Accessed 21 Nov. 2018].
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