Respect Is Earned Not Given but Don’t Be Insubordinate

I know we all want a little respect from our family, friends, co-workers, and supervisors. I know I do and I respect people more when they show me respect, but when they disrespect me it is like getting shot in the back. When this happens we need to have more self-control not to fall to their level and disrespect them.

What is Respect?

I often wonder if people get confused of what is respect vs. common courtesy. An example I think of is a man holding a door for a woman. Who goes in first? If the man walks in and holds the door open then I see that as common courtesy, but if he holds the door and lets the woman enter first then that is respect. Taking a step aside is what it takes to show respect. Even if it means shutting your mouth and listening to a person to hear their story of what happened.

Defamation of character is not respect

Have you ever made a mistake? If you say no then you are lying. Now I like to joke around at work and say “I never make a mistake”, but we all do everyday. We are not perfect from day one of the Creation of Adam and Eve. Making a mistake should not be taking to an extreme extent where a person feels that their job, relationship, or financial circumstances may be at risk because of what another person says. When a supervisor belittles you by calling you “stupid” no matter how they refer it it is defamation of character.

I say that to say this. This past week at work I had my supervisor from human resources call me stupid because I misunderstood an email she placed on the product. It doesn’t matter what was on the documents the point I am going to make is how it went down.

The first thing was they could not find the product I had moved. So they came to me and I told them it is where it says it is. Well evidently I put it in the wrong spot in the right room and they had a hard time to find it. This happens a lot. Everyday as a matter of fact. People bring product to me and place it in the wrong spot always and I just go get it. As long as it isn’t at the other end of the building I and 99% of other employees don’t see a big problem. We all need to take initiative to solve the problem not complain about it a create a bigger problem.

When they did find the product they brought to my attention I moved it to the wrong spot. They started with the attitude like they were giving me a lecture. I tried to explain to them the email on the product said to take it where I did. It was on the front of the paperwork so that made it a priority. They continued to mock me by asking if I thought we would do a latter job than the one is due next. Hey i don’t know what crazy ideas they come up with I just follow instructions. They ended up asking, “Are you an idiot?”. That lit the fire within me. I raised my voice and firmly told them that they thought I was an idiot. Of course they denied it. I was threatened to be written up for insubordination. That set me on my protect myself mode.

After the lecture was over it took me a couple hours to simmer down. Once I did I went to the higher up supervisor and told him what happened. I explained that the document should have been more clear. I also told him that call a employee is defamation of character and I may consider legal action. He asked if I was going to act on it now I told him, “No, but if I get written up for doing my job and have to take this from them then I may act.”. While I was trying to cool down I told him my hands were shaking so bad that a fifteen minute job took me an hour to complete. After I left his office my hands stopped shaking. I was calming down already, but still agitated it happened in the first place. Later I saw him “talking” to them in the office. I saw some angry facial expressions so I assume that they were talking about the incident. I started feeling even better knowing it was being dealt with. I didn’t get written up like they said they would.

Now you may think I am bragging and making excuses, but I am not. I want to point out mistakes from both ends. Sometimes we act before we think, but we need to think before we act.

Think Before You Act

It made be hard sometimes but we all need to do a little thinking everyday. I am going to start from the beginning.

Not writing a crystal clear email or document

One thing I do know is when communicating with multiple people you need to make the point clear, crystal clear. I went to American InterContinental University for my Associates Degree in Business Administration. One thing I learned while I was there is don’t write the document for you write it for who you are targeting. It can be difficult because you have to think outside the box at times, although when it comes to employees it should be easy to follow the instructions in the email or on the document. It should state what needs done, where it needs done, and when it needs done. If it doesn’t then it could be misunderstood and an error can be made.

Accepting We All Make Mistakes, Not Assuming That Everything Is Where It Should Be

I don’t know about you but I have lost things at home because I put them in a different spot than I usually do or somebody moved it and didn’t put it back. Actually I did it this mourning. I went out last night to do some shopping before we get the two feet of snow we are going to get. I needed one more thing this morning so I decided to go early, before the snow. I could not find my keys anywhere. They should have been in my coat pocket or on the table. I stopped and backtracked my steps and I couldn’t recall putting my keys back in my coat or on the table. I thought did I even take them out of the door? Well I opened the door and there they where. For once I am glad I live in a second floor apartment. I say that to say this… I messed up. I had to admit to myself I made a mistake and figure out where and when. If my ego got in my way I may have never found my keys. Everyday we all make mistakes some are small ones some are really big ones, like drinking and driving. What we need to do is learn from them and do it better next time.

The biggest mistake I made at work was not moving the product to the wrong spot but lifting my voice to to supervisor. They made the mistake of belittling me, but I should have been better than them and kept my cool. I did have a legit reason to get upset. Although that does not mean you should do it. For instance you need to get home and your friend is drunk and you two are using his car. Should you take the keys and drive yourself? Well depends, have you been drinking too. If you have even on beer and drive you could be over the legal limit. If your are both trashed then it is not safe for either to drive. So just because it sounds good in your head does not mean it is good.

We All Are Created Equal

I just want to say I firmly believe that we are all equal. Even when it comes to supervisors and employees. It is just the employees need to follow the leaders. We all need leaders even leaders need leaders. Sometimes the leaders look at us to see what they should be doing. All this comes down to respect. Showing respect to everyone is hard, but we can do it. If everyone showed respect to the other person then there would be no disrespect. My favorite scripture from the King James Holy Bible is…

Ephesians 4:32 King James Version (KJV)

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

References

Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4:32 – King James Version. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A32&version=KJV

Orlando Defamation of Character Lawyers | Workplace Slander, Libel. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.forthepeople.com/labor-and-employment-lawyers/workplace-defamation/

Check out more

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Respect Is Earned Not Given but Don’t Be Insubordinate

I know we all want a little respect from our family, friends, co-workers, and supervisors. I know I do and I respect people more when they show me respect, but when they disrespect me it is like getting shot in the back. When this happens we need to have more self-control not to fall to their level and disrespect them.

What is Respect?

I often wonder if people get confused of what is respect vs. common courtesy. An example I think of is a man holding a door for a woman. Who goes in first? If the man walks in and holds the door open then I see that as common courtesy, but if he holds the door and lets the woman enter first then that is respect. Taking a step aside is what it takes to show respect. Even if it means shutting your mouth and listening to a person to hear their story of what happened.

Defamation of character is not respect

Have you ever made a mistake? If you say no then you are lying. Now I like to joke around at work and say “I never make a mistake”, but we all do everyday. We are not perfect from day one of the Creation of Adam and Eve. Making a mistake should not be taking to an extreme extent where a person feels that their job, relationship, or financial circumstances may be at risk because of what another person says. When a supervisor belittles you by calling you “stupid” no matter how they refer it it is defamation of character.

I say that to say this. This past week at work I had my supervisor from human resources call me stupid because I misunderstood an email she placed on the product. It doesn’t matter what was on the documents the point I am going to make is how it went down.

The first thing was they could not find the product I had moved. So they came to me and I told them it is where it says it is. Well evidently I put it in the wrong spot in the right room and they had a hard time to find it. This happens a lot. Everyday as a matter of fact. People bring product to me and place it in the wrong spot always and I just go get it. As long as it isn’t at the other end of the building I and 99% of other employees don’t see a big problem. We all need to take initiative to solve the problem not complain about it a create a bigger problem.

When they did find the product they brought to my attention I moved it to the wrong spot. They started with the attitude like they were giving me a lecture. I tried to explain to them the email on the product said to take it where I did. It was on the front of the paperwork so that made it a priority. They continued to mock me by asking if I thought we would do a latter job than the one is due next. Hey i don’t know what crazy ideas they come up with I just follow instructions. They ended up asking, “Are you an idiot?”. That lit the fire within me. I raised my voice and firmly told them that they thought I was an idiot. Of course they denied it. I was threatened to be written up for insubordination. That set me on my protect myself mode.

After the lecture was over it took me a couple hours to simmer down. Once I did I went to the higher up supervisor and told him what happened. I explained that the document should have been more clear. I also told him that call a employee is defamation of character and I may consider legal action. He asked if I was going to act on it now I told him, “No, but if I get written up for doing my job and have to take this from them then I may act.”. While I was trying to cool down I told him my hands were shaking so bad that a fifteen minute job took me an hour to complete. After I left his office my hands stopped shaking. I was calming down already, but still agitated it happened in the first place. Later I saw him “talking” to them in the office. I saw some angry facial expressions so I assume that they were talking about the incident. I started feeling even better knowing it was being dealt with. I didn’t get written up like they said they would.

Now you may think I am bragging and making excuses, but I am not. I want to point out mistakes from both ends. Sometimes we act before we think, but we need to think before we act.

Think Before You Act

It made be hard sometimes but we all need to do a little thinking everyday. I am going to start from the beginning.

Not writing a crystal clear email or document

One thing I do know is when communicating with multiple people you need to make the point clear, crystal clear. I went to American InterContinental University for my Associates Degree in Business Administration. One thing I learned while I was there is don’t write the document for you write it for who you are targeting. It can be difficult because you have to think outside the box at times, although when it comes to employees it should be easy to follow the instructions in the email or on the document. It should state what needs done, where it needs done, and when it needs done. If it doesn’t then it could be misunderstood and an error can be made.

Accepting We All Make Mistakes, Not Assuming That Everything Is Where It Should Be

I don’t know about you but I have lost things at home because I put them in a different spot than I usually do or somebody moved it and didn’t put it back. Actually I did it this mourning. I went out last night to do some shopping before we get the two feet of snow we are going to get. I needed one more thing this morning so I decided to go early, before the snow. I could not find my keys anywhere. They should have been in my coat pocket or on the table. I stopped and backtracked my steps and I couldn’t recall putting my keys back in my coat or on the table. I thought did I even take them out of the door? Well I opened the door and there they where. For once I am glad I live in a second floor apartment. I say that to say this… I messed up. I had to admit to myself I made a mistake and figure out where and when. If my ego got in my way I may have never found my keys. Everyday we all make mistakes some are small ones some are really big ones, like drinking and driving. What we need to do is learn from them and do it better next time.

The biggest mistake I made at work was not moving the product to the wrong spot but lifting my voice to to supervisor. They made the mistake of belittling me, but I should have been better than them and kept my cool. I did have a legit reason to get upset. Although that does not mean you should do it. For instance you need to get home and your friend is drunk and you two are using his car. Should you take the keys and drive yourself? Well depends, have you been drinking too. If you have even on beer and drive you could be over the legal limit. If your are both trashed then it is not safe for either to drive. So just because it sounds good in your head does not mean it is good.

We All Are Created Equal

I just want to say I firmly believe that we are all equal. Even when it comes to supervisors and employees. It is just the employees need to follow the leaders. We all need leaders even leaders need leaders. Sometimes the leaders look at us to see what they should be doing. All this comes down to respect. Showing respect to everyone is hard, but we can do it. If everyone showed respect to the other person then there would be no disrespect. My favorite scripture from the King James Holy Bible is…

Ephesians 4:32 King James Version (KJV)

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

References

Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4:32 – King James Version. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A32&version=KJV

Orlando Defamation of Character Lawyers | Workplace Slander, Libel. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.forthepeople.com/labor-and-employment-lawyers/workplace-defamation/

Check out more

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

We all have a complicated life. Some of us have problems with finances, some of us with friends, some of us with the lost of a loved one, and some have problems with peers and parents growing up. I am going to focus on the latter. I am focusing on a problem I have had since I was seven. It has been difficult for me to comprehend because the Bible says,

Ephesians 4: 31,32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The main point is “Be kind on to another”. When people can never be kind it is hard to put away the bitterness.

Childhood was Difficult and not Happy

I have always believed childhood should be a happy time. A time to learn, to grow up, to experience new things all the time, but now I look back a believe that childhood is a rough hard road that we need to battle. We grow strength from learning from our challenges, unfairness, and the neglect we had as a child. When we grow up we are responsible for ourselves and have full control.

School was not always great

There are reasons I believe this. One of the main ones is because of all the troubles I had in school. I was always harassed in elementary school. My step-father, which I will get to soon, did not believe me, my mother did although. When I was in public school my sister saw kids pushing me around, calling me names, and even trying to pick a fight.

When I was in the second grade I begged my mother to take me out of public school. She did and put me into a Christian school. I made a few friends there, which are still friends today, but there were more jerks then nice people. I still got picked on, but the teachers and the principal did something about it. I even got into a couple fights my four years there. One was when we were on our ski trip. When the principal found out he pulled the guy off the slopes and sat him in the ski resort. The principal also suspended him. My friend left that school and went to a different Christian school so I went with them.

School gets better

This is the school I graduated from and the church I go to today. Here I had more friends, but had some religious differences. There were a few people I wish were never there, but we cannot have a day go the way we want it to all the time. Some things happen for a reason, because God has a purpose for it. One thing I have learned from what I put up with through school is always be kind to people around you. You may never know if a person is having a good day or bad day, lost a loved one or expecting a newborn, or has a lot of stress on their mind or is the happiest person on earth. Keep your mind open because you may be there to save a person or they are there to save you.

Father issues since I was a child

Now earlier I mentioned about my step-father not believing me on the problems I had in school. Well it did not stop there. I do not always believe a person at first, but when it gets consistent then I get curious if it is true or not. That has never been my step-dad.

When I wanted to go out to eat on Sunday after church I knew I had to  bother my mother. If I even mentioned it to my step-father he would not take us out. Then I wondered if he did not take us because we asked to go. I thought he did not like us asking to go out to eat. Now I believe it was because it was not his idea. Looking back in life with my step-father he was and is a self-centered, egotistical, selfish, jerk. My whole life I have never liked people like this. The last decade it has been a lot worse. As of New Year’s Day I have had enough! I have cut him off as my step-father, I am no longer talking to him, nor offering any help. It is over 30 years of he is always right and everyone else is always wrong. What happened that Sunday is not really significant. I will say he was saying I was wrong and I had non-argumentative proof that I was right. When a person cannot admit they are wrong sincerely they are guilty of pride and arrogance.

Proverbs 8:13

 

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.”

You may wonder why I would cut him out of my life. Well it is not as simple as going out to eat after church. He has always been negative. I have been ambitious since I was in high school. Words affect you especially if you hear them your entire life. When all you hear are negative word from a person they make you think negative. Although I have always had a drive to be someone better than him, better than me. I always want to improve myself one way or another. So it has always been like an ongoing fight that no one ever wins. It is no longer worth being near such a negative person that it holds my life, my mind back so much I cannot believe in myself. Now I am focusing entirely on myself. It may sound selfish, but I have given so much of my life away it is time to live. It may not stay constant. Once I am living maybe things will settle, but until then it is time to start my life.

Check out more

Family Conflict: Will Find Solution in the New Year

True Love is So Simple

Ric Flair wants Penn State to beat Ohio State — ABC27

Where Do We Go After Death According To The Bible


(“EPHESIANS 4:31 KJV “Let All Bitterness, And Wrath, And Anger, And Clamour, And Evil Speaking, Be Put Away From You, With All Malice:””)

(“PROVERBS 8:13 KJV “The Fear Of The LORD [Is] To Hate Evil: Pride, And Arrogancy, And The Evil Way, And The Froward Mouth, Do I Hate.””)

God’s Advice That Should Be Followed Throughout All Life: “Be Kind One To Another”

We all have a complicated life. Some of us have problems with finances, some of us with friends, some of us with the lost of a loved one, and some have problems with peers and parents growing up. I am going to focus on the latter. I am focusing on a problem I have had since I was seven. It has been difficult for me to comprehend because the Bible says,

Ephesians 4: 31,32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The main point is “Be kind on to another”. When people can never be kind it is hard to put away the bitterness.

Childhood was Difficult and not Happy

I have always believed childhood should be a happy time. A time to learn, to grow up, to experience new things all the time, but now I look back a believe that childhood is a rough hard road that we need to battle. We grow strength from learning from our challenges, unfairness, and the neglect we had as a child. When we grow up we are responsible for ourselves and have full control.

School was not always great

There are reasons I believe this. One of the main ones is because of all the troubles I had in school. I was always harassed in elementary school. My step-father, which I will get to soon, did not believe me, my mother did although. When I was in public school my sister saw kids pushing me around, calling me names, and even trying to pick a fight.

When I was in the second grade I begged my mother to take me out of public school. She did and put me into a Christian school. I made a few friends there, which are still friends today, but there were more jerks then nice people. I still got picked on, but the teachers and the principal did something about it. I even got into a couple fights my four years there. One was when we were on our ski trip. When the principal found out he pulled the guy off the slopes and sat him in the ski resort. The principal also suspended him. My friend left that school and went to a different Christian school so I went with them.

School gets better

This is the school I graduated from and the church I go to today. Here I had more friends, but had some religious differences. There were a few people I wish were never there, but we cannot have a day go the way we want it to all the time. Some things happen for a reason, because God has a purpose for it. One thing I have learned from what I put up with through school is always be kind to people around you. You may never know if a person is having a good day or bad day, lost a loved one or expecting a newborn, or has a lot of stress on their mind or is the happiest person on earth. Keep your mind open because you may be there to save a person or they are there to save you.

Father issues since I was a child

Now earlier I mentioned about my step-father not believing me on the problems I had in school. Well it did not stop there. I do not always believe a person at first, but when it gets consistent then I get curious if it is true or not. That has never been my step-dad.

When I wanted to go out to eat on Sunday after church I knew I had to  bother my mother. If I even mentioned it to my step-father he would not take us out. Then I wondered if he did not take us because we asked to go. I thought he did not like us asking to go out to eat. Now I believe it was because it was not his idea. Looking back in life with my step-father he was and is a self-centered, egotistical, selfish, jerk. My whole life I have never liked people like this. The last decade it has been a lot worse. As of New Year’s Day I have had enough! I have cut him off as my step-father, I am no longer talking to him, nor offering any help. It is over 30 years of he is always right and everyone else is always wrong. What happened that Sunday is not really significant. I will say he was saying I was wrong and I had non-argumentative proof that I was right. When a person cannot admit they are wrong sincerely they are guilty of pride and arrogance.

Proverbs 8:13

 

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.”

You may wonder why I would cut him out of my life. Well it is not as simple as going out to eat after church. He has always been negative. I have been ambitious since I was in high school. Words affect you especially if you hear them your entire life. When all you hear are negative word from a person they make you think negative. Although I have always had a drive to be someone better than him, better than me. I always want to improve myself one way or another. So it has always been like an ongoing fight that no one ever wins. It is no longer worth being near such a negative person that it holds my life, my mind back so much I cannot believe in myself. Now I am focusing entirely on myself. It may sound selfish, but I have given so much of my life away it is time to live. It may not stay constant. Once I am living maybe things will settle, but until then it is time to start my life.

Check out more

Family Conflict: Will Find Solution in the New Year

True Love is So Simple

Ric Flair wants Penn State to beat Ohio State — ABC27

Where Do We Go After Death According To The Bible


(“EPHESIANS 4:31 KJV “Let All Bitterness, And Wrath, And Anger, And Clamour, And Evil Speaking, Be Put Away From You, With All Malice:””)

(“PROVERBS 8:13 KJV “The Fear Of The LORD [Is] To Hate Evil: Pride, And Arrogancy, And The Evil Way, And The Froward Mouth, Do I Hate.””)

True Love is So Simple

We all believe true love is with the one we will fall in love with for the rest of our lives. I do not believe that is the truth. I believe true love is much more simple to find, I believe most of us have found it since the day we were born. Love is not something that grows inside us because we came from love. God created this World with love and created Man and Woman with love. We should always love one another.

Ephesians 4: 31-32

” Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

A Child Loves Their Parent

When a child is born it shows love for the mother and father. It does not start there though. It begins in the mother’s womb. The child is one with the mother and grows very close to the father. If the father is not around rather if it is due to a job, separation, divorce, or a disagreement in a relationship the child will grow close to the mother and not the father. If there is a lot of arguing, fighting, or disagreeing while the child is still in the womb it can make the child very distant from the parents. In any of these scenarios the child still loves their parents. It is just showing the love for their parents is what gets difficult.

According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of couples get divorced in the United States. This is very hard on the child. When the child is still young, below their teen years, it can cause problems latter in life. It may seem they accept their new family, new home, new friends; but things do change in life and when the child reaches their older teen years or later they may wonder what would have happened if their parents had never been divorced. This is where the blame game comes in to effect. The sad part is there is no one truly to blame, but the child won’t learn that till their adult years. That maybe a little late.

There are children that live in good homes rather if their parents got divorced or never had been divorced. One way is a divorced family can keep consistent contact. The parents need to swallow their pride and think of their children. It is like going to work and putting up with an arrogant boss. The problem is if you quit having family you cannot go get another family, at least not your true family. You quit your job there is always another one out there. Parents do not think of yourselves all the time, think what you can do for your children so the grow up with a better life than you did. If you do they will always be there for you when they reach adulthood, have a job, and have their own home. Maybe one day you will move in with them.

Love of Husband and Wife

I have heard before that love is love. I do not believe that is true. The love between a man and a woman is a love that grows. It does not have a bonding together like a child and his/her mother. I do believe we all have a soul mate that God wants us to be with in life. I believe there is a true love that God has us destined for in our life. It seems like this day and age we do not meet our soul mate or at least do not take the opportunity to take a move when we are given it.

 Proverbs 18:22 

[Whoso] findeth a wife findeth a good [thing], and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Just because we do not meet our soul mate does not mean we do not truly love the one we are with. We are suppose to love one another as ourselves.

I Thessalonians 4:9

But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

Maybe if we could show love to each other married couples will last, families will stay close, friends will be friends, and there would be more happiness and peace in the World. So the next time you see a person who needs help, has a question, or maybe someone who wants to help you thank God and be happy.


Reference

EPHESIANS CHAPTER 4 KJV. (2016). Kingjamesbibleonline.org. Retrieved 25 December 2016, from http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Ephesians-Chapter-4/

Marriage and Divorce. (2016). http://www.apa.org. Retrieved 25 December 2016, from http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

PROVERBS 18:22 KJV  (2016). Kingjamesbibleonline.org. Retrieved 25 December 2016, from http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Proverbs-18-22/

1 THESSALONIANS 4:9 KJV . (2016). Kingjamesbibleonline.org. Retrieved 25 December 2016, from http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1-Thessalonians-4-9/

Check out more

Where Do We Go After Death According To The Bible

A Life’s Story: Childhood, Pier Pressure, and Right and Wrong Decisions

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