We all have reasons to stay in our comfortable spot in life. What we all need to do is move forward in life. Some people may feel like they are needed, afraid, or held back; but they need to take the courage to move on in life.
I have had a lot of struggles when I was in high school. I am not going into this here, but if you want to find out click here. When I graduated I just wanted to get out of the house and out of town, so I went to college in the capitol of PA, Harrisburg. I had no idea about life at this time. I did not know about paying bills, saving money, going shopping, saving money, and more. I learned a lot quick! Working two jobs and going to college was not that great. I had fun chilling with my friend after work and downing a few beers. The problem was I kept running out of money and food.
What did I do to get money and food then? Well I will tell you! I called mom. 😦 Yes mom of all people in the World. The big problem from this was I did not know where she got the money. I found out years later she got it from a line of credit. On a technicality she wasn’t giving me money she was giving me parts of her credit. When I found this out I stopped calling for financial help.
I started thinking of a career. I had two jobs at the time so I went with the job I liked and I was assisting managers with their job. I talked to the Assistant Manager that I helped all the time about getting promoted to manager. He agreed I should and he looked into it. One of his requirements was to train a new shift manager. So he chose me as his trainee. It was taking two years to get me trained and time was getting hard. I decided to move home and start over fresh. Wish I could redo that day over.
Since then I have been trying to go forward. I attempted to start a business, was hired as crew to get promoted to manager, went to college on-line, and got a job in a factory making more then I did in fast food. It did not matter what I did every few years I hit bottom. After running my business and going to college on-line I have had a revelation. I do not live my own life. I need to accept responsibility for what I do. I need to make my own choices. I had been letting my mother and step-father make decisions for me to reduce stress, but it had increased stress. They did not make choices the way I would have decided. This does not mean they were wrong or I was wrong, it means when a decision is made for your life it needs to matter to you.
I had a job at a pharmaceutical company that make medical stoppers. I was weigh up and packing off the medical stoppers. I worked nights, 12 hour shifts. It helped me graduate college and start a business. What went wrong is I had something like a stroke and was suffering memory loss and continue to have short-term memory issues. A few months after I went back to work I forgot to do a procedure. I was caught on camera and terminated. I informed them I was having memory problems and wanted to be retrained, just in case, the refused. It was even recommended by my neurologist. They refused my unemployment, but I eventually won after they won in the hearing I won on the final appeal. Although that didn’t matter I was still really depressed and considered taking my own life. The only thing that saved me was Faith in God. I knew He had a purpose.
The whole time I was unemployed my mother was complaining about me going to find a job, paying bills, how I was going to live, and much more negative statements. I have lost jobs in the past and have gotten depressed, but recovered within a week. This was not happening with all the negative feed I was getting. I needed help to think positive again. I went to see a therapist. No not a shrink! She is a person you can talk to about the problems you have everyday and she listens, offers suggestion, and gives advise. The best part she does expect me to take her advice, she just offers it. We all need a friend or family that listens and makes suggestions, but my family does not do that.
Since it seems that everything gets more complicated as the years move on I am going to cut the people off that adds the stress to me. I do want to consider to add them back as time moves on and the desire to see them returns. As of right now if I was the only person left on this World I would be happy. I know I would get lonely eventually so that is not what I want. I just need separation from my parents and where I grew up. I need to move my life forward and make my own decisions. Whomever reads this take a little advice. If you have a goal that you can reasonably succeed at then go for it, Do not argue over opinions, and if you cannot say something positive then do not say anything at all. Do not be a fool, do not be negative, and be realistic about achieving. This is what I have learned in the last 10 years of my life.
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