Tag Archives: why are there conflicts in the family

Sometimes Family Cannot Live Together Because They Will Never Agree

We all have family members that are the nice ones, the grumpy ones, the neat ones, and the little obsessive ones; but what if you are a positive one with the negative ones. This can cause problems through out life if no common ground is found. There is a time to agree and a time to disagree.

Showing Favoritism Among the Kids

Believe it or not, all parents have a favorite child. It happened in my family and I was not the favorite. It is like liking Pepsi over Coke or Coke over Pepsi. They are both colas, taste similar, but one is better than the other to everyone.

Dragon QuestIt is understanding that parents can favor on child over another, especially mothers favoring daughters and fathers favoring sons, although giving privileges to one and none to another makes them feel rejected. Sometimes you cannot treat your children exactly the same. These days there are a lot of children born with limitations or handicaps. Everyone has different interest as they grow up too. I know I liked playing outside when I was very young, but when I got to my teens I loved video games. The Nintendo came out and it made my mind work. I love Role Playing Games (RPG). My favorite from the NES was Dragon Warrior Series. My mother would always yell at me about always being on my Nintendo, which I was not, and not going outside. When I did go outside and play with my sister and her friend, which today is her husband, he would always end up being a jerk and have to be the dominating man. Today I realize I did not like that because I saw myself as the man of the house and he should be submissive to me. Even back then I developed in my mind if you cannot win just walk away.

Whenever there was chores to do I always got them. Chores like taking out the garbage, bringing in wood, mowing the lawn, and even cooking dinner I always did them and never got any benefits from it. My sister on the other hand did not have any chores she had responsibilities. She had like a dozen pets cats, dog, birds, fish, hermit crabs, lizards, rabbits and more. Whenever I complained that my sister did not have any chores that I did “everything” my mother always said, “Yes she does!”. I told her, “They are not chores they are responsibilities. If you think they are both the same I am going to give you the definitions.

Chore–   a small or odd job; routine task, the everyday work around a house or farm

Responsible involving accountability or responsibilityas in having the power to  control or manage:, reliable or dependable, as in meeting debts, conducting businessdealings, etc.

Now according to the definitions chores are not as significant as responsibility. Not that is insignificant to do your chores everyday they teach you discipline and commitment to get things done, but a responsibility, like having pets, is similar to having kids. You come home from work tired and worn out there are two things you need to do, wash the dishes and feed the kids, which on would you do? If you said feed the kids that is being responsible. Doing the dishes is an everyday chore that we all have. It can be put off till the next day if needed. Although a responsibility cannot be put off. Just like for kids and doing their homework. They need to learn when they are young what is more important, running the trash out for dad or study for that History test. It took me until high school to realize that education was far more important than chores. I have my Principal and Pastor from high school to thank for that. When I graduated and went to college I had to cram for prioritizing in life. It was hard with college, work, and home. I did not graduate from college back then. I went back to college in 2010 and graduated in 2012 from AIU. I wish I learned how to prioritize when I was a child.

Try to Treat Your Children Equal

Although there will be favoritism, parents can favor both children in different ways. Some kids need personal time and other kids like a lot of attention. There are also kids who want to go out with there friends after school. Parents could allow them to do this as long as after dinner they got on their homework and got it done. This is a compromise. If the child does not comply then it is their fault and have to learn they need to accept responsibility for their choices and actions. If they will not get their homework done then they need to get on it after school or maybe be able to go play for an hour. If the kid wants to cry about it they need to be explained to why their privilege is being limited or taken away. Even if they do not fully conceive it it may sink in eventually. If you do not work with them then they may go against you. They will learn to deceive you and get away with what they want to. I know this because I did it as a child. I got grounded and told not to play my video games. I figured out a way to put everything back the way it was and when my parents came home. Also my game systems were where the wood burner was so if they got home before I got off I always used the excuse I was taken care of the fire. They never found out to this day. I have gotten away with a lot as a child and got busted on a lot too. I just believe with everything there is a compromise. It is up to you as the parent to develop that. Always talk, listen, give-up, and give on both sides. I can go on and on. If you want any advice or have a question just comment below. I hope more families are getting along in harmony than families who cannot agree what to watch on TV.

The most important thing in the world is family and love.

-John Wooden

BrainyQuote  

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References

Dictionary.com. (2017). the definition of chore. [online] Available at: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/chore?s=t [Accessed 19 Aug. 2017].

Dictionary.com. (2017). the definition of responsible. [online] Available at: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/responsible [Accessed 19 Aug. 2017].

 

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Do Not Lose Your Passion

“Follow your #heart and you will never lose your way.“ #Passion #Life

follow your heart

Loneliness, downheartedness, astray, and disarrangement are the way one feels without love. I know because this is how I feel now. There was a better day in my life. I had love, close friends, family, and positive ideas to look forward to in the future. Well what was the future in the past has become the present. My roads have been rough and I have been alone. Future Plans From The Past I…

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Do Not Lose Your Passion

Loneliness, downheartedness, astray, and disarrangement are the way one feels without love. I know because this is how I feel now. There was a better day in my life. I had love, close friends, family, and positive ideas to look forward to in the future. Well what was the future in the past has become the present. My roads have been rough and I have been alone.

Future Plans From The Past

I graduated high school in 2000. I had plans of getting a degree, meeting the girl of my dreams, and having a family. I moved out of town and went to ITT Technical Institution to get my degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. I liked it because I love Math. I did well but had problems that happens in life.

Plan Your Budget

I did not realize at that time how hard it was to pay bills, buy food, take car of my car, gas, and have free time. I kept running out of money. I had never been educated on budgeting my income. I have now. I suggest to anyone who reads this learn how to budget. There are apps on Androids to help you.

I lost so much money I tucked my tail and ran home. I only had a semester left in college and I gave up. I regret that decision to this day, if I could go back in time this is one thing I would change.

Strive Forward

I did not give my degree up. I went to Pennsylvania College of Technology for a week. I took Culinary Arts a hobby, I will say, of mine. Gave it up because it was not what I really wanted. I still had an unknown desire in my heart, a passion.

When I lived away I learned a lot about business, setting goals, and being a leader. This always inspired me to do better, to strive for greater goals. I feel that if I set an example, set goals for others I can help them at work and in life.

I once received a suggestion from a manager of mine to go to college for management. I thought, “Yeah right, why do I want to do his job!?” But after going home I reconsidered it. I set my goal to become a manager.

Set A Goal Before You Get The Job

I went out looking for a job in food service, because that was my experience, to be hired on as a manager. I had experience as a Team Leader, several years in food service, and always did great with customers. It took time, but by the Grace of God I was hired at Long John Silver’s. The General Manager and Area Manager made an arrangement with me. They hired me on as crew with a higher wage and trained me in counting cash, inventory, orders, and more. They also guaranteed the intent of promoting me. It did happen. Although when you reach the top of the mountain you have to go down.

Reach Your Goal, But Planes Do Not Work Out

In my last year at LJS my General Manager retired and I was promoted. His Assistant Manager took over the restaurant. I never felt good with her from day one. I had a couple employees complaining that I was making them do their job. Wow what do you get paid for? I was mainly trained to close the restaurant, not open. One day I was scheduled to open. I messed up.

Now the night before the deposit is made. In the morning the manager runs it to the bank for a scheduled deposit. This has to be done because of the deposit made on the books the night before. If the manager is late then it screws things up. Well I was a little late. There are two reasons. One was because I was scheduled one short and the second was because another called off. I was trying to get everything ready and forgot about the deposit. I made several calls, even to other managers, and got no help. I was demoted because to deposit did not make it on time. I decided at that time to look for another job. It has been tumbling since.

My Passion Injured, But Not Defeated

When I was looking for a job my friend recommended me to apply where his father worked. I decided to take his suggestion. His father told me he got paid well with good benefits and vacation time, paid sick leave, and paid personal time. I got the job, but they were 12 hour shifts and I got stuck on nights.

I stayed positive the first couple years that I would make it to days, but gave it up eventually. I was in a department where only two people work on each shift. The only way I was going to get it if someone got fired or quit. I was the lowest one who would be able to bid on it.

During this time I was going to college online through DeVry. I majored for Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration with a focus on Management. I did not have a lot of time in a week, much less in a day so I took only fourteen credits at a time. This was taking forever. My loans were going higher and higher. I kept feeling more discouraged that I would never make it. I saw American InterContinental University (AIU). They run their sessions 5 weeks, whereas DeVry did it 8 weeks. I did not leave DeVry because they were not a great college, I did it because of time. If I had the time to do a whole semester then I would have stayed with DeVry and graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration, but it did not happen. I do not think this is something I did wrong, just things happen because of choices we make in life. I graduated AIU with my Associates Degree in Business Administration.

To Place Passion In Effect or Let The Fire Burn

While I was in college I had this passion to start my own business. I wanted to be my own boss, put my ideas in effect, make plans, and have a drive. I was sure it would work, but it did not. I started as advertising for Amazon.com. I established a business, started a blog, and promoted on Facebook and Twitter.

I spent money for months before Amazon even talked to me about keywords. At that time I knew about tagging friends in Facebook to show them a post. I did not know much about Google. I thought if I just advertised it on Social Network I would get sales, I was so wrong. Time to replan. I researched, established a Google account, focused on keywords, scheduled posts on Facebook and Twitter, I even used Hootsuite to help me out. I did it so I could be on break at work and I could go to my web page and share a product on my Social Network. Hootsuite helped, but Facebook kept changing. I would get less likes, and less page likes. My traffic was screeching to a halt.

All I got from family was negative support. No one was supportive of my decision. Now with everything coming to an end I was lost. My passion was no longer, it had been extinguished. Now all I can look back on are failures.

A Ray Of Hope

There was a time in life when I felt positive, I had my passion, I could never stop striving for more. That was when I was around more positive people, I had set goals, I had choices in my life, and my mistakes I learned from and was not lectured all the time. This can happen again. Maybe I am on the right road. I like where I am working at now, I have goals set for a new car, a place to move, and maybe even a relationship. What happens after the dust finally settles? Maybe one day I will let you know.

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Should We Agree Or Disagree?

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Should We Agree Or Disagree?

There are conflicts every day because we all have different opinions, point of views, priorities in life, and desires. Even in your own life your personality has changed over time. Think about the past for a moment. Go back 10 years from now. What was your point of view on a job? Was it just to make some money to get your video game? Maybe you had no idea what a job was? Of course you could have just been starting your new career. Now go back to today. What is your opinion? Is it about working 9 to 5, a paycheck, or about friends? I have always had the dream of finding a job where I enjoyed working, hanging with friends, and doing something after work. That has not come true yet, but I do still pray it does.

Generations

There are many different opinions among many different generations. You may be wondering what I am talking about. Well things have changed over the last 50, 60, 70 years. Science and technology have taken off into space and then into cyberspace. Some people have decided to follow while others have not come into the new Millennium.

Technology

I have met, talked to, and have family that have had challenges with the changes over the last 70 years. I have heard stories about when the first black and white television first came out. It wasn’t like a new Xbox game that everyone has to get. People did not have the money to go get a television when it came out. Eventually though the price dropped and a television got into everyone’s house and the economy boomed, a new era began. Now televisions are Hi Definition and color, WOW! Just like the television culture has changed.

Culture

There was more respect for one another back in the 50’s. Kids had respect for their parents, wives had respect for their husband, and the husband had respect for the family. In our history back then it was more of a family country. There were more small businesses, mom and pop shop, and kids having fun. Now laws have changed, industry has kicked up, and respect for one another has been thrown out the window. Parents wonder why their kids do not listen to them, it may be cause the kids do not get parental respect from their parents.

Ephesians 6:4

-Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord

Now I do not want to preach, but if things were better in the past maybe we need to go back to what our culture did back then. This verse tells me that not only is a child at fault, but so is the parent. If a child drops their drink on the floor and gets yelled at it will not make them a better person.

I know time has changed. Our likes on TV, the internet, how we spend money, internet, cell phones, and more. Just do not disagree if you both can be right. Just because two generations are in the same room and talking about the best cartoon in their generation ever, does not mean one is wrong. Agree to disagree.

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